Setting Boundaries for Better Mental Health and Wellness
The Role of Boundaries in Wellness
The word “boundaries” has become a buzzword in the wellness space, especially across social media. However, it’s often misunderstood or misused. Boundaries are sometimes portrayed as a way to shield yourself from discomfort or to avoid engaging with things you don’t like. But true boundaries go much deeper than that.
So, what are boundaries? Renowned family therapist Salvador Minuchin described boundaries as the rules for maintain both autonomy and closeness simultaneously in relationships (Minuchin & Fishman, 1981). They represent the ever evolving respect for what a person, relationship, or organization needs at the moment. That respect allows us the freedom to make changes as necessary. Boundaries shouldn’t be overly rigid, cutting you off from others, nor should they be so flexible that they compromise your sense of self.
For individuals, this means finding a balance between being open to external influences and staying true to your core values and identity. For organizations, healthy boundaries might look like welcoming feedback from employees and the community while staying aligned with the company’s mission.
Why Boundaries Matter in Work and Life
Balance is key to thriving, and boundaries are a cornerstone of achieving it. Since it’s the holiday season, let’s use a familiar metaphor: making soup. Before you start, you need a recipe—whether it’s a family favorite or one you’ve found online. That recipe serves as a guide, offering the right balance of ingredients. A great soup requires a mix of savory and sweet notes—onions, carrots, and maybe even a pinch of sugar. Similarly, boundaries help us create a harmonious balance in work and life.
Boundaries in the Workplace
In the workplace, a lack of boundaries can lead to work overshadowing everything else, making your job feel like your entire life. Healthy boundaries ensure you maintain a sense of self and a sustainable work-life balance. For instance, setting clear working hours and communicating them with colleagues helps establish expectations and protects your personal time.
Boundaries in Everyday Life
In your personal life, boundaries are a way to honor and respect yourself. Prioritizing your needs is an act of self-care, and boundaries provide the space to do so. They also set an example for how others should treat you. For instance, if you’ve created boundaries around your social media usage—like limiting how long or when you engage—it signals your priorities and helps conserve your energy. These boundaries can clarify how you want to connect with others while fostering mutual respect.
Boundaries are the recipe for balance, guiding us to lead healthier and more fulfilling lives. Whether at work or home, they empower us to create space for what matters most
Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries
Be firm: Your boundaries are yours to enforce. Stand by them.
Be clear: Clearly define what your boundaries are. Ambiguity leads to confusion.
Be concise: State your boundary and leave it at that.
Explain (but not too much): You don’t need to over-apologize or justify your boundaries.
The Challenges of Creating Boundaries
Setting boundaries can be empowering, but it’s not always easy. One of the most common challenges is the tendency to over-explain. It’s natural to want others to understand your perspective, but over-explaining can make the conversation more stressful than it needs to be. You might feel compelled to justify your decision or overcompensate for how it might impact others.
Instead, remind yourself that setting boundaries is an investment in your well-being and relationships. Setting boundaries is a form of self-care. It allows you to manage stress and stay grounded. Boundaries are not just about saying “no” but also about saying “yes”—yes to a more balanced and aligned version of you. By defining and honoring your boundaries, you allow yourself to show up how you would like and fully present.
A simple, polite statement—such as “I can’t commit to that right now” or “I need some time to recharge”—is enough. Being direct and confident reinforces the validity of your needs.
Other challenges might include fear of disappointing others, guilt about saying “no,” or worry about being perceived as selfish. These feelings are valid but not insurmountable. Remember, boundaries are not about shutting people out but about creating space for healthier interactions and a more balanced life.
References
Minuchin, S., & Fishman, H. C. (1981). Family therapy techniques. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.